Being a mom

I have always wanted to be a mom since I was a little kid. I used to play house like most little girls and take care of my "kids" while helping my mom raise my younger siblings. Because of me having to well raise my younger siblings I matured a lot faster than most of my friends and have always done things before it was age appropriate. Now that I am a real mommy to two wonderful little girls I'm understanding more and more everyday that when people say its hard it really is and its all worth it too.

Everyone always says that they want to do things differently with their children than their parents did with them and I am no different. Everyone has different parenting styles that is right for their kids and I try extra hard to try to remember that and to stop myself if I see I'm starting to judge. Me and my mother do not see eye to eye on pretty much anything and there are more reasons than just child rearing its a complicated situation but I do raise my kids completely different than she raised us. I vowed a long time ago to be involved completely with my kids; to play with them, be honest with them, be very involved with their education, and make sure that they are truly happy without having to bribe them. I am very proud of myself that for the most part I have stuck with my word. I used to watch 7th Heaven when I was in middle school and wish my home life was more like theirs (yes I knew it was a t.v. show but I knew a lot of my friends had that type of relationship with their family and wanted that too). Secretly I had always wanted to be a stay at home mom as well, I NEVER thought I would actually have the chance to be one. Growing up stay at home moms always had a stable home, and usually the dad had some big fancy job. As an adult I know now that I had no idea what was really going on. Honestly I didn't have a stable home life until I was in high school and got fed up my the life style at home and moved in with my dad. I probably would not be where I am today if I had not done this. My dad and my stepmom are amazing and I am so thankful I have them in my life.

The day Punkin was born my husband looked at me and asked me to quit my job because he didn't want anyone else to raise our children. Financially this was far from possible. I explained this to him so he started looking for another job. I did go back to work for about a month before he got the job he has today (his dream job) and almost tripled our income. Pretty amazing for a 20 year old mom and a 24 year old dad! The day we signed on our first home is the day that happened and I've been a stay at home mom ever since. Now where it gets hard is all day I am at home with now two baby girls and three dogs while he is at work all day and like most moms it does get stressful; mentally, physically, and financially. House work never ends, kids are always needing something, dogs are always being crazy, and bills are always needing to be paid. But, I love my life even if I have a day like yesterday when both girls were cranky all day and would not stop whining, the dogs would not stop wrestling in the house, therefore they got put outside so then they ran the fence line barking at the new neighbors dogs and vice versa, did laundry from 9am to 10pm and still have a ton more to do. I did a bunch of other stuff but at the end of the day it felt and looked like there was nothing done. Days like that depress me. My husband works so hard for us to live the lifestyle that we want on a tight budget and I try my hardest to work just as hard at home. I take care of the kids, try to keep the house clean, and cook dinner and have it ready shortly after he gets home (waiting in the microwave) if he's late, and the dogs some what calm for him. I feel if he's going to work his hiney off then thats the least I can do. To help relive my stress my stepmom picks up the girls on wednesday afternoons and keeps them until around 8:30, I use this time to run my errands with no kids and my hubby if he doesn't work late has guy time. He has been working late for a while now because thankfully they are swamped at work. Thankfully as in he has a job, he has work at his job, he is able to make a paycheck, and we need the money. However, with him always working late we miss him around here and I'm home more with the girls by myself. So I do want to give props to the single mom, the mom who works outside the home and still has mom/wife/housekeeper duties after work, and the teenage mom. It's hard being a young married stay at home mom and full time student, so I know those of you who don't have help or as much help or have to leave home for work plus anything else for that matter....REMEMBER, your kids love you and it might be hard but its all worth it and God will not put anything on you he knows you can't handle. Being a mom is one of the best gifts God has given me and looking at my Punkin watching her play with her baby reminded me of how I used to do the same and some of the stuff that came out of my mouth on how easy it would be....hahaha....boy oh boy the things you learn as you get older or have to go through. Life lessons are the best aren't they? Being a mom has taught me a lot more about myself and I'm so sure I have so much more to learn but I wouldn't trade being at home with them for anything in the world!